致命的大错

"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10." 字串1

"Qualifications: No education or experience."

字串4

"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy." 字串1

"My compensation should be at least equal to my age." 字串5

"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC." 字串1

"Fired because I fought for lower pay." 字串7

"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65" . 字串6

"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."

字串5

"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."

字串5

"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately." 字串7

打字错误与语法错误

字串8

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." 字串4

"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

"I am a rabid typist."

字串6

"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."

字串1

"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to

字串3

pursue a new line of work." 字串5

"Accounting cleric." 字串8

"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."

字串2

"Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments."

字串5

"Suspected to graduate early next year."

字串8

"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." 字串7

"Proven ability to track down and correct erors." 字串6

"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

字串8

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

不应有的幽默

字串8

"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house." 字串4

"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)

"But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature." 字串1

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." 字串3

"My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company in particular."

字串7

"Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series."

"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."

"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."

字串2

"Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience."